David, then and now

Good old existentialism, it sneaks up on me precisely when I've forgotten about it.

Jean Paul Sartre thought that 'existence precedes essence.' In other words, we are born and then grow into who we are, instead of being pre-programmed for any certain fate.

Check out this photo essay on David(s), photos of the same people taken ten years apart. Are we always the same?

Is the 10 year old me still me when I'm 80?

Maybe.

All the News That's Fit to Print

Apparently that includes this whole Langdon-Brunswick News affair. In the New York Times. Wow-Carleton County is in the "paper of record." (Thanks for the link on FB, Geoff.)

I'd like to know what people thought of the first edition of the Carleton Free Press. I saw it last night and thought it looked good, if a little tabloid-y because of the layout.

I was very encouraged by the number of local advertisers congratulating the new paper. The fact of the matter is, if people believe a non-Irving paper is valuable, they need to support it with their money.

And if the paper can provide similar or better quality coverage than the B-O, why not support an enterprise that makes the local economy a priority? It's the farmer's market of papers, you might say.

Jeannot who?

Jeannot Volpe, leader of the conservative party, has stated that the Irvings control too many of the messages in our media. This was a bit of a shocker, as he was very pro-industrial forestry during his time as Natural Resources Minister. The Langon-Brunswick News trial continues this week in Woodstock. It will be interesting to see what the court has to say about all of this.

Met Opera simulcasts

Here's the schedule of performances for the Metropolitain Opera's upcoming season. The performances will be broadcast live into movie theatres across Canada. Definitely worth checking out, assuming you are unable to jet to NYC for the weekend...


Venues
Empire Studio 12, St. John's
Empire 10 Cinemas, Fredericton
Empire 8 Park Lane, Halifax
Empire Studio 10, Saint John
Empire Studio 10, Sydney
Empire 8 Trinity Drive, Moncton
Empire Theatres Dartmouth Crossing
Empire Studio 8, Charlottetown

Gounod: Romeo et Juliette
Sat Dec 15/07
1:00pm ET / 10:00am PT


Humperdinck: Hansel and Gretel
Tues Jan 1/08
1:00pm ET / 10:00am PT


Gounod: Romeo et Juliette ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat Jan 5/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Verdi: Macbeth
Sat Jan 12/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Humperdinck: Hansel and Gretel ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat Jan 26/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Verdi: Macbeth ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat Feb 9/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Puccini: Manon Lescaut
Sat Feb 16/08
1:00pm ET / 10:00am PT


Puccini: Manon Lescaut ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat Mar 1/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Britten: Peter Grimes
Sat Mar 15/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Wagner: Tristan and Isolde
Sat Mar 22/08
12:30pm ET / 9:30am PT


Britten: Peter Grimes ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat Mar 29/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Puccini: La Boheme
Sat Apr 5/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Wagner: Tristan and Isolde ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat Apr 12/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Donizetti: La Fille du Regiment
Sat Apr 26/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT


Puccini: La Boheme ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat May 3/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT

Donizetti: La Fille du Regiment ENCORE PERFORMANCE
Sat May 10/08
1:30pm ET / 10:30am PT

no TV for you . . .

It turns out that in 2011, most television in Canada will be digital. Which means if you don't buy the receiver, no more Mansbridge or HNIC for you.

I never thought I would be defending the right to television in this blog: however, I can't decide whether this will be good for very poor people (the only ones likely to go without) or whether tv, in this day and age, vaguely qualifies as a human right. Strange...

One thing's for sure, this is the end of 'country cable' as we knew it.

Langdon, the Bugle and media in NB

An unbelievable story is unfolding here in Woodstock-Ken Langdon has resigned from the Bugle to start a competing paper. To put this in perspective, only 2 English language papers in the entire province are not part of the Irving media empire (and one in French, I believe).

In the words of Senator Joan Fraser "we didn't find anywhere else in the developed world a situation like the situation in New Brunswick."

You can read the background info from CBC here and here. Robert Jones' audio report on the rare legal order used to search Langdon's home at is posted cbc.ca/nb (down on the right).

To me, the most telling aspect of the case is that J.K Irving's rep, Victor Mlodecki, has basically refused to comment, only reiterating the arguments made in court documents. The Irving companies are normally agressive and spin everything as positively as possible. The fact that they are silent on this one probably means they want it to blow over quickly, with a minimum of controversy over the rare use of a private (ie. non-criminal) search warrant.

Regardless of all the mud-slinging, the fact remains that New Brunswick faces a very serious problem with media concentration (not to mention the concentration of political power). It is not healthy to have all the media in one province towing the same line. We need a diversity of viewpoints. Debate is at the heart of democracy, and good debate depends on freedom of information.

Last week mayors in Northern NB complained that the Irving papers no longer maintain offices to cover their communities. They are left without a voice, like many communities whose coverage comes 'from away'. Why shouldn't people have access to good quality local news? Because it's not good for the corporate bottom line?

The right to speak freely and be heard is essential. I sincerely hope the Carleton Free Press is successful, and at very least encourages people to think, discuss and take action to ensure we have access to all viewpoints.

Housing

Interesting article on housing artists and development in Toronto. The most important factor in developing an artistic enclave is affordable rent.

http://www.dominionpaper.ca/articles/1295

Art and the working class

I've been busy, I've been working, and I've been thinking about all these fabulous artists who are dying. First Bradshaw, then Doug Riley (jazz musician), then Pavorotti. It seems to me my generation is sorely lacking in such experienced people, who have such a passionate love for their work. Maybe we just aren't old enough yet, but maybe we're not prepared to make the sacrifices, either.

In any case, came across a wicked article about David Adams Richard's writing and critical opionions of his work. Turns out some people don't have a lot of patience for art 'from away.'

http://www.antigonishreview.com/bi-128/128-tremblay.html

A sad morning

Got up today feeling really good from the final Music on the Meduxnekeag last night. A nice crowd and a fabulous mix of musicians. Plus there's something really special about playing out in the woods with no power. Warms my little New Brunswick heart.

Then I read that the director of the Canadian Opera Company, Richard Bradshaw, died suddenly of heart failure. He was 63. This man was a real architect for the arts in Canada. He basically was a one-man army who spoke very passionately about the potential for Canada to be a world leader in the arts.

From CBC: http://www.cbc.ca/arts/music/story/2007/08/16/richard-bradshaw-obit.html

True visionaries, who are not cowed by criticism and doubt, exist very rarely and it will be along time before Canada has another like him.

Arts on Parade

So, we handed out over 600 cards advertising rivervalleyarts.net. There is a lot of energy in the air and people in the town seem to be waking up to the possibilities for something meaningful to happen. Exciting stuff.

Speaking of which, have a listen to the music recorded by a great bunch of east coast musicians. http://www.cbc.ca/radio2/singleConcert.html?20070319ecwms
It's people from all genres and cultures who don't normally work together-the results might surprise you. From my perspective, a good musician is a good musician, no matter what the tunes.

More on cars, municipalities and leadership

http://rabble.ca/columnists_full.shtml?x=60998

Public transit

Very interesting article about places that have decided to do away with charging money for public transportation. Turns out collecting the fares and tickets costs a lot of money.

As the price of gas escalates and people are ever-more aware of the impact of climate change, this is an idea well worth considering. How many car trips in the Town of Woodstock could be avoided by a regular small bus run from the Post Office to Connell Hill?

http://www.alternet.org/environment/57802/

Good news for Canadian artists

Canada Council for the arts funding will increase next year. Excellent news for the country and for Arts Old Home Week 2009.

http://www.cbc.ca/arts/artdesign/story/2007/07/20/council-funding.html

Linger a while

Interesting energy in the air at the concert last night. A very eclectic mix of people: young punks, old punks, families, retired couples, even the elusive 18-35 crowd. One member had to leave early in preparation for birthday #1 today.

What struck me most was the Liquor Store crowd, which was obviously surprised to see a concert happening. The interesting thing was that people who had no idea they were in for a concert decided to stick around a while. What is normally a very busy in-and-out section of town slowed down for a couple of hours, and people leaned on their cars to listen, chatted with other people and generally (I think) had the sense that it was nice to stop and hear the music.

When music fills the air, it makes even a bare parking lot feel warm and alive. This to me is very significant, because towns people are drawn to are also warm and alive. So, let's hope it continues-thus far this has been a fabulous summer for live music in Woodstock.

Also, an interesting link from Julie Craig, who is a librarian par excellence. The subject of this post is whether or not the public library could exist today (had it not already been invented). Worth reading.

http://www.freakonomics.com/blog/2007/07/10/if-public-libraries-didnt-exist-could-you-start-one-today/

Music on the Meduxnekeag-Part II

The second installment of Music on the Meduxnekag will take place this Thursday, July 19th at the Woodstock Farmer's Market. It starts at 7:30 and will feature Tracy Anderson jazz ensemble and Seth Anderson, singer-songwriter.

I am very excited to showcase two of Carleton County's up-and-coming musicians, who just happen to be my relatives. Bring a lawnchair and a friend-there is no rain date for the concert but hopefully the sun will shine.

Also, we are looking forward to Arts Old Home Week 2009. Please send names of people who have left the area but might be interested in coming home to perform or present artwork. I know they're out there . . .

It seems this whole 'taking time off' thing is working because already I am thinking of new projects. It reminds me of the time my father looked me straight in the eye and intoned "if I could split myself in two, I could get a lot more done." Or something to that effect. Let's just say all the slackers in the world can rest a little easier knowing there is only one G.W. Anderson.

Anyway, the point is we are going to have Old Home Week for the ARTS in 2009. The plan is to invite all the wonderfully talented artistic people who have left to return for a week and put on their art in Woodstock. Imagine a convergence of that kind-concerts, shows, exhibits, films, parties, food, dancing. This town may never live it down...

Please let me know of people who fit this description and I'll add them to the list.

A little poem for today

It turns out this is my 60th post. That's pretty good, all things considered. To celebrate, I give you a poem by the fabulous Chilean poet, Pablo Neruda. Look him up on Wikipedia.

Here's one for the guitar, which is the most popular instrument in the Western world, by a factor of 10 (so I'm told).

Ode to the Guitar

Slender,
perfect profile
of a musical heart,
you are clarity itself captured in flight.
Through song you endure:
your shape will never pass away.

Is it the harsh grief
that pours out of you,
your thrumming beats, or the
buzzing of wings:
is this what I'll recall?
Or are you
more thoroughly thrilling
in silence,
the dove schematized
or a woman's hip,
a pattern that emerges from its foam
and reappears: a turgid, tumbled
and resurrected rose.

Beneath a fig tree,
by the rough-running river Bio-Bio,
you left your nest like a bird
guitar,
and delivered
to swarthy hands
those long-lost trysts,
muffled sobs,
and endless successions of farewells.
Song poured out of you,
a marriage
between man
and guitar,
forgotten kisses
from an unforgettable, unforgiving lady.
In this way the entire night
became
the star-studded body of a guitar.
The firmament trembled
in its musical canopy,
while the river
tuned its infinite strings, sweeping towards the sea
a pure tide of scents and sorrows.

O rich solitude
that arrives with the night,
solitude like bread made of earth,
solitude sung by a river of guitars!
The world shrinks to a single drop
of honey, orone star,
and through the leaves everything is blue:
trembling, all of heaven sings.

And the woman who plays
both earth and guitar
bears in her voice
the mourning
and the joy
of the most poignant moment.
Time and distance
fall away from the guitar.
We are a dream, an unfinished song.
The untamed heart
rides back roads on horseback:
over and over again it dreams of the night, of silence,
over and over again it sings of the earth, of its guitar.

-from Odes to Common Things, 1954-1959

Wow, am I in Woodstock?

Anyone who was at Fusion last night can relate to this feeling. It was a glimpse of what life could be like in this town if people are interested in making it happen.

Nobody watched t.v., lots of people of different ages talked to each other, some drank, some ate, we had a good laugh, plans were hatched and everyone enjoyed great music courtesy of Tracy and the live band. Jim Lawrence even made a surprise appearance with his tin sandwich.

A good time was had by all.

Les Filmes, Mais Oui

This just in from Richard Blaquiere-check it out.

Greetings Film Lovers: This is our tentative schedule for the September-January FILMS IN THE VALLEY film series. Passes are $30.00 for 4 movies. We need to sell as many as possible so we can rest a bit more comfortably. Numbers were down last year. We are each committed to selling 10 passes minimum. Forward this note to anyone you feel might be interested. These are good films. Maybe our best season yet! They can contact me and reserve a pass by e-mailing me at Richardb@NBNet.NB.Ca

Season Overview (still tentative)

Wednesday, September 19 - Introducing the Dwights - http://wip.warnerbros.com/introducingthedwights/
Wednesday - October 17 - La Vie En Rose http://www.edithpiafmovie.com/
Wednesday, November 21 - Ten Canoes http://www.tencanoes.com.au/tencanoes/
Wedensday, December 5 - TBA
January 16 - Gypsy Caravan http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/gypsy_caravan/

the sights, the sounds, the city

We got back from Montreal late last night. What a great city-full of great food, beautiful people and fabulous music. I spent way too much money but had a chance to see the Dave Holland Quintet, Mina Agossi, David Binney Quartet, and many other free shows.

Next on the agenda: Tracy Anderson, Adam Mahoney, Chad Ball and Craig Woodcock at Fusion on Thursday, 8pm. Be there or be square- it's the best music you're going to hear all summer.

Council

Recap: Tonight we went to council and the letter was read. There was discussion with regard to what the rec department does (and doesn't do) with respect to the arts.

Ken Harding made the comment that traditionally the arts have been outside the purview of the town because their recreational programming is 'facilities-based' (ie. civic centre based).

Someone also remarked that now could potentially be a good time to explore the possibilities since the civic centre is apparently due for a 'major capital project' (not sure what this is yet).

Results: The letter was referred to the parks and rec dept. with regard to what oher similiar positions are funded by other municipalities.

So....I will continue lobbying and wait to see what the parks and rec department says. I haven't given up-I think this is what Woodstock needs, and I'm ready to work for it.

Amy

Also: I will be enjoying the last day of school and the Montreal jazz fest so don't expect a new post until July 5th. When you will all come and hear Tracy, Adam Mahoney and others at Fusion (8pm). right?

sweet summer

Thanks everyone for your best wishes for the summer. I haven't been this mellow for quite some time!

There are tons of great concerts coming up. Check out the list below, and feel free to email if there are more I should know about.

Friday and Saturday 22/23 June: Live Music at Fusion (downtown Woodstock) 8pm, I believe

Sunday, June 24th: Fiddlehead Strings @ Saint Mark's Anglican Church, Jackson Falls. 7pm (Bach, Beatles, more)

Thursday, July 5th: Tracy Anderson jazz ensemble at Fusion-Carleton County's finest improvisors. 8pm.

Thursday, July 19: Music on the Meduxnekeag pt. 2 : Palmer family (folk and gospel)
Tracy Anderson (jazz nouveau)
Seth Anderson (singer-songwriter)

This is downtown at the Farm Market, 7:30 p.m.

More to come . . . .

Also, I will be taking the proposal to council next Monday. ill keep you posted on how that goes.

Lovely June

Many concerts are being planned for your enjoyment. Come and enjoy local talent and lovely music in a beautiful setting.

St Mark's church (4786, Route 540, Jackson Falls) is pleased to present MARY LEE WILSON MCKENNA in a concert of sacred music for soprano voice. The concert will be held this Sunday evening, June 10th, at 7pm.Ms McKenna describes the program as "familiar, contemporary and classical", ranging from Vivaldi, Purcell and Handel to Aaron Copland and Samuel Barber. Piano accompaniment by Carolyn Wagner.

"Music at St Mark's" is offered to the neighbourhood and to the world in thanksgiving for St Mark's having reached its 100th anniversary. The concert is without admission charge (with opportunity for donation at the door). St Mark's is a traditional New Brunswick country church with a subtly gorgeous interior (basswood, trimmed with butternut). We are anxious to hear a professionally-trained singer test its acoustic.

Another St Mark's musical evening will feature the JIGSAW WINDS (wind quartet) and UNA VOCE (chamber choir) on Thursday evening, June 14th, at 7pm, in a concert kindly sponsored by the Meduxnekeag River Association.On Sunday evening, 24 June at 7pm, Music at St Mark's presents the FIDDLEHEAD STRINGS (string quartet) in concert.

The next step

Congratulations to everyone on a great run. We have unleashed an insane amount of energy in our community and people have responded.

On a serious note, I feel now is the time to ask to the town of Woodstock to support you-its talented artistic community members. Please consider reading the important letter posted below, and notify me if you are willing to add your name in support of the proposal. It's time we spoke up as a group to be counted. We have a tremendous contribution to make, and in the words of Les Mis, "the time is now, the day is near."

Best wishes to all!

Amy

182 Houlton Road
Woodstock, NB
E7M 1Z1
(506) 328-2020
amandrs@mta.ca


Dear Mayor Wright and Councillors,

I am writing to you to propose something I feel is vital to the civic life of our town. As you might know, I have been very involved with musical and artistic life in Carleton County, both as a young person and now as a formally trained musician/teacher.

Participation in many community projects (Valley Young Company’s productions of “Tommy” and “Les Miserables,” organizing “Music on the Meduxnekeag,” playing for the Historical Society’s Victorian Christmas concerts) has given me a renewed sense of the talents and passion for the arts possessed by people in Carleton County. Having organized students and volunteers of all ages and abilities, I can honestly say that participating in the arts is the most meaningful experience of community that a person can have.

That said, I have long felt that we need a focal point for the arts in our town. We are seriously lacking in recreational and cultural activities not related to sports. To be clear, I do not begrudge the resources allocated to athletics. Rather, I feel we are shortchanging people in Woodstock who are ready, willing and able to contribute to the cultural and artistic life of our town. For example, we have a sports wall of fame but no place to recognize the many people who have gone on to significant artistic careers (Mary Lee Wilson and Sally Dibblee come to mind, to name only two).

Furthermore, we have no outlet outside the school system for our younger people to develop their artistic potential, despite evidence of tremendous talent in this area! Addressing this deficit would provide substantial economic and cultural benefits to the town of Woodstock. The arts are a million dollar industry in Canada, and draw highly educated, civic-minded individuals. These people form the core of informed citizens that are necessary to a healthy town.

It’s time for the town to actively encourage the arts in the same manner they do for athletics. Support for our local talent would tremendously enhance the quality of life in our town and would reinforce the role of Woodstock as a leader among towns in the river valley. I would like to suggest that the town consider allocating funding to hire a part-time arts coordinator, similar to the recreation director they fund already. I feel this is a manageable but concrete first step in building something meaningful for the citizens of Woodstock. This person would be responsible for such things as publicizing and organizing musical, dramatic and artistic events, coordinating with various community groups (schools, historical society, River Association, churches, Old Home Week committee, anniversary celebrations, libraries,), and organizing programs for people of all ages.

A vibrant arts community benefits everyone, and is vital to maintaining a strong community. We have so much talent and energy that is currently being unfulfilled, and it is truly our loss as a town. I hope you will give this small proposal serious consideration. I would be more than willing to do further research into similar positions funded by other municipalities, and I would be happy to discuss the proposal in person. I look forward to your reply on this issue and I have attached the names of many people who support this initiative. Thanks for all you do already to make Woodstock a great place to live, and I look forward to a time when the talents and achievements for our artistic community members are supported with pride by our town.

Yours sincerely,

Amy Anderson, B. Mus

Music director, Valley Young Company
Music director, Saint James United Church
Music teacher, Hartland Community School

Input, please

Hi,

I am doing some serious brainstorming about how best to run a music program next year. I would really like input from interested parties, especially students.

1. What kinds of projects would you find interesting to work on?
2.How much time should be devoted to individual practicing?
3.What instruments interest you the most?
4.Any other feedback or suggestions?

You can post comments here or email me.
Thanks!

Also: Don't forget this Sunday night (27th?) Sally Dibblee, Bel Canto singers and more at the Woodstock United Baptist church. Lots of great vocal music and also some original pieces by Sam Arnold. See you there!

Going once . . .

FYI: Advance ticket sales for cast and their associates are now on sale. They are 15$ each or 4 for 50$, I believe. You can get them by calling Centennial Elementary School or the WHS library. Use your friendly neighbourhood yellow pages to find the numbers.

Also, tomorrow we are running vocal rehearsals. Everyone is to meet at the Y's men's club (across from WHS/the Civic Centre) at 7. We will split into male/female sections for the first half and then do a few vocal runs. This is deadly important, as there are still a few vocal holes in the show. Boo.

It looks like the band will get together Thursday evening at 7:30 or 8pm, to clean up some of the trickier sections. Be sure and express your appreciation to the band, as they are volunteers who deserve our thanks, and they are gonna rock come May 31!

Have a good one,
A.

exotic events with a spirit of adventure

Hi all,

I trust everyone is ready for the big day tomorrow.

Two more lovely concerts you need to attend:

Sunday 10 June : vocal recital by Mary Lee (Wilson) McKenna, who grew up in Woodstock.

Sunday 24 June: Fiddlehead Strings

These are both being held to commemorate the 100th anniversary of Saint Mark's Anglican Church, Jackson Falls. I will let you know when I get more details, but mark your calendars now.

There is a TON of great music coming up in the next month, so be sure and get out to see it!

Also, in Fredericton: Sat. May 12th - Beethoven's 9th symphony at Wilmot United Church
Sat. May 26th - Sam Arnold (Jigsaw Winds), Fiddlehead Strings, vocal music

Finally: Sat. May 26th, Carleton North High School 25th anniversary concert. Help Peter McLaughlin celebrate 25 years of music at CNSHS. Includes a reunion band!

Adios April

I can't believe April is over-it's been so busy. The band rehearsed yesterday afternoon and it was great. The cast isn't going to believe the difference when they get to sing with 8 top-notch musicians instead of a 65 key-keyboard! It's very exciting.

Miscellaneous: email bio to Hilary's mom if you haven't done so already.
- continue to practice words and tunes for Saturday
-congratulations to all the drama fest participants. I heard a rumour we have a number of cast members who won acting awards. Well played!

Amy

Meduxnekeag Summer Series I

Announcing the first of three Meduxnekeag River Association summer concerts.

Thursday, June 14th at St. Mark's Anglican Church, Jackson Falls

Jigsaw Winds, featuring Sam Arnold's "Meduxnekeag Walking Trails Suite"

Una Voce - vocal ensemble directed by Jennifer Muir

Come and celebrate the 100th anniversary of the construction of St. Mark's church with an evening of beautiful music in a beautiful setting. Admission is by donation. For more information call the Meduxnekeag River Association 328-2427 or email amandrs@mta.ca

Be there or be square (and afraid I might come looking for you!...)

Hi everybody,

Hope you enjoyed the lovely weekend-it's great to see spring arrive.

I wanted to reinforce how important it is to have absolutely EVERYONE at rehearsal from now until June 1st. Please schedule social events on days when we are not rehearsing. Especially important is the May 5th sing through-I am expecting EVERYONE to be there. Period. So if you have to work, please reschedule it ASAP. I cannot overstate how important it is to have everyone at rehearsal.

Other than that, we will need to review a couple of music things in the upcoming weeks, with the chorus (Sensation Reprise) and also a short rehearsal with the Sens. I will keep you posted on that. If anyone has questions about their parts, please let me know ASAP.

Thanks,

Amy

Shiretones go digital

Check this out-our local Barbershop quartet is now on youtube. This is taken from a performance they gave at a worksop in Montreal this spring

The "Tommy connection?" one of these singers is the dad of our cast member Matt Clark, and will also be playing the horn part in our pit band (on trombone, no less). What a great family! They even know how to do taxes...

How I Got Into This Crazy Business

Everybody has a story behind how they caught the theatre 'bug.' A big part of my story was named Andrew and David Stitt. They were two years older than me, and some of the funnest most creative people I have ever met (and yes, I know funnest isn't a word).

We were in "Little Shop of Horrors" together, and it was a blast. The WHS theatre was literally my second home and when they graduated the boys were a doorway into the bigger world of Halifax, the theatre scene, etc.

As many of you know, they passed away in a car accident in the summer of 2000. That was a blow to the many people who loved and appreciated them for the vibrant guys they were. At the funeral someone read "Andrew's New World Order" and despite the tragic circumstances it was still one of the funniest lists I've ever heard. Eat your heart out, Letterman... Here it is.

1) 6 Month years. That way winter is shorter, Christmas is longer and Easter will be in the same month so there is less confusion.
2) When you're sixteen you make a list of your 10 favorite jobs and every month (60 days) you will change. You will get some good and some bad days.
3) Minutes will have 100 seconds to make things easier. I know this will mess up our current system, so it will go 58,59,100.
4) 3-4 will be singing and dancing hour. If you don't sing and dance you will be shot. Every system needs a little fear in it. Don't worry the snipers won't be very good, remember they only have the job for a month.
5) A bunch of other things will change. Up is now left, right is superright and down doesn't exist. 1 is 3 and 3 will get a much needed vacation.
6) Stop signs will now read "Whoa there partner slow down." You see stop signs are too vague. I don't know what they want me to stop doing.
7) Wars will be fought with nothing but open fields and people without arms or legs. They will be televised.
8) Fat people are now medium, medium will be skinny and skinny will be fat. That way it wouldn't be so important to be skinny, most people already are. People with eating disorders will gain weight to become skinny so there will be less vomiting.
9) There will be no crime. The only people who will go to jail are the people who were picked to be there for that month. Think, you could be a judge, juror and executioner all together.
10) Cars will be replaced by planes. This way a) there will be a lot more cool plane crashes b) less fatal car crashes which have seen a sharp increase as of late.
11) People must shower in Booze that way everyone will smell hungover instead of that one alcoholic & his feelings would be hurt.
(Written by Andrew Stitt, no corrections or alterations have been made)